EUNICE
Breathe.
Balance.
Listen to your body.
Joys. Family and friends.
Sadness. The early death of my only sibling.
Regrets. Not discovering yoga and my paintbrushes sooner.
Too many years of smoking.
Philosophy. Be patient and kind.
Look for beauty when life seems bleak.
Believe that everything works together for the good.
Dear Cate,
One day you might open a book and find a photograph of your grandmother, lying naked on the rocks that you loved to climb over as a child. Focus on the artistry of the photographer. As for the model, no doubt you have learned some details from family photos and sundry conversations. Together we visited the small Scottish village where I grew up. Paris, a city that determined my academic trajectory. Frankfurt, where your mother and uncle were born.
The journey has been long, and not always without its frustrations. Now, I find myself with five American grandchildren and on the brink of becoming an American citizen. But I do claim responsibility for finding Rowayton, CT.
In the Scotland of the 1950’s, it was assumed that girls would leave school, marry and raise a family. My parents thought otherwise. Five years on, with a Masters in French and German, an award for the top graduate in spoken French, an offer of a college post in Vancouver, or a spot in the French Department Post Graduate program. What did I do? I married my college sweetheart and had a family!
I do admit to a few adventures along the way, given my weakness for all things French. In September,1962, on route to a yearlong teaching assignment at a girls high school, in Aire-sur-l’Adour, I stood on a bridge over the Seine and listened to the unmistakable Edith Piaf sing her signature song, “Je ne regrette rien.” No life can be without regrets, yet this simple line has helped me navigate the ups and downs of adulthood.
My mother was a firm believer in the bible quote: “All things work together for the good.” In spite of intermittent attempts at becoming a better Christian, I confess to having largely ignored the remainder of the quote, “for he who loves the Lord.” Nonetheless, these words have held true. The sadness of leaving a comfortable life in Frankfurt, and a growing career as an interpreter/translator, for an unknown future in the United States, lingered with me for many months. Shocked to be the only mother on Bayley Beach in a bikini, then with summer gone, the children in school, and the final pages of a travel guide I was translating from German to English gone in the mail, I struggled to find a meaningful place for myself. Perhaps I was too preoccupied with my misery to find Rowayton Arts Center or Oak Hills Golf Course.
Finally, with two children packed off to boarding school in Scotland, (no regrets on the educational benefits, but a heavy heart,) my Egyptian adventures began. Some questioned the career choice. Within the first month, Anwar Sadat was assassinated. Two weeks later our street level office at 630 Fifth Avenue was destroyed by petrol bombs! 30 plus years on, many setbacks and a revolution notwithstanding, the pleasures of enabling clients to experience this incredible civilization remain.
At midlife, spinsterhood returned, this too tinged with regret for the end of a marriage that held many wonderful memories. So began a new journey; creative writing classes, painting, yoga, travel abroad and around North America, many hours on the golf course and many wonderful friends. Then, when least expected, I truly found my beloved Peter, soul mate, housemate, intermittent adversary and best friend!
Cate, I have watched you grow from an adorable little toddler into a stunning young woman. As you set off on a new journey away from the safety net of family, friends and familiar places, there will be many adventures and probably some regrets. You will tackle them with courage, grace and a good measure of common sense! I was never the “by the book” grandmother with trips to the American Girl Store, (although I do remember a visit to the “Build a Bear” workshop). Just know that I will always be there for you, my only granddaughter.
I was asked recently to add a few words to my photograph. All I wanted to say was “I am healthy, fit, happy and loving each day of my life. I am not rich, I am not poor, I am content.”
Let this be your guide. With much love and best wishes,
Gran
